It’s 2018 and the 10th anniversary of The Moron Editorial, which officially started in October 2008. So it’s only fitting that there will be 9 articles leading up to the 10th anniversary. The next several months will be the previously untold stories, a VH1-Behind the Music style of how it all came to be. But before we commence with reminiscing about a decade of nonsense, let’s rewind the clock 10 years and see where it all started…
It was January of 2008, just a few days after an unmemorable New Year’s Eve party. I received a text from my lawyer asking me to meet with him to finalize my divorce documents. It was a cold and dreary morning…or it’s possible that’s just my memory of it. The excruciating divorce that had gone on for over 15 months required a couple of my signatures, then the most horrible time in my life would be behind me.
Civility had diminished within the marriage way before any talk of divorce and the actual process didn’t make things easier. By the time the divorce proceedings had initiated, it was like throwing 2 blood thirsty wolverines into a potato sack and letting them have it out. Having a child caught in the middle of this tsunami of shit didn’t help matters and was the main reason a 2-month divorce got extended to 15. Property and money can easily be divided, but when a kid and terms like “custody” and “visitation” enter the equation, you can bet that both parties will be ready, fists clenched.
Within the courtroom, secrets confided in one another were blurted out without hesitation or remorse. Bridges were burned and lawyers were a necessary evil, working as a steel wool buffers on open wounds. It was pistols at dawn…if dawn was all day, every day and the pistols were on retainer.
Long story short, it was a disaster. In the end, I thought I had been bamboozled and broken by not only my ex-wife but also my lawyer. He wasn’t a good person nor did he really have any “best intentions” in mind. That fucker’s moral compass had been broken for decades before I even met him. It was at a diner near Dallas where I met my lawyer and signed where he pointed. He then shook my hand and I never saw him again. I wonder if he’s dead. Hope he is. Seriously, the world will not miss him.
I look back at that time at how I squandered a year’s salary on courts, lawyers, and booze, and wonder if I could have done some things differently. Perhaps with more patience, I could have handled it better. Perhaps not. I could also sit here pointing fingers and spill details that really don’t matter anymore, but that’s not what today’s introduction is about.
All I know is that I’ve been carrying these documents for 10 long fucking years. They are a constant reminder of the young man who was and the man who now writes these words. It’s not as much “night and day” as it is closer to “dusk and midnight”. It’s so strange that as I write this, it almost feels like I’m reliving it. Even stranger is that this story sounds like a depressing end but it’s only the eye-opening beginning. So stay with me this year and I promise to leave a smile on that face.
Now let’s return to 2018…
Unless you’re Green Day putting out the Dookie album circa 1994, not every song a musician puts on an album is gonna be a hit. The same could be said about my monthly memoirs. Writing these articles, to me, is like producing an LP. Not everything will be a hit and I know that. There will be some great articles. There will be some bad articles. There will articles I thought were pretty good but ended up not being terrible (I’m being honest here). There will even be articles that I wrote that I will look back on and say, “Damn, that was actually a really good story!” (I have yet to experience this.)
I will still post on a monthly basis from now until December with the highest level of mediocrity you all have grown accustomed to! I’ve even spent some time revamping the page, as you can see, with new templates and pictures. Basically, it’s the most hated part of upkeep on this page, which is why I only change it once every 10 years…like the oil in my car.
I could write and publish a book about just the last decade…oh wait, I did and I’m going to. More details on that later this year.